The Meaning Behind A Thorned Blue Rose

Before someone gets a chance to tell me this, I just want to put it out there that I do know that “thorned” isn’t exactly a real word. But if you don’t make up words are you really living right? (Yes, you probably are.)

Now, back to my blog name. As of late, I am starting to identify with blue roses not only because of how unique and rare they are and the fact that my middle name is actually Rose, but because they signify immortality and beating the impossible. About a month ago, I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma (a type of cancer of the lymph nodes) and my sole focus is of course not to live forever since that is not possible, but to beat this cancer and going on to live a fabulous, fulfilled life. The thorned in “thorned blue rose” signifies the lymphoma in myself. It’s hurtful and it’s not fun but it’s a part of me for the time being and it’s just a matter of time before I chop that thorn off!

I’m sure some of you have a lot of questions about how this all happened and this post is designated to answer these questions for you. The last thing I want is people talking and wondering about my situation and not having all the facts, thus resulting in rumors being spread. For those of you who already know the ins and outs of my situation, feel free to skip right over this part 🙂

On the morning of March 16, 2017, I was getting ready to go to work to conduct a final presentation. I was about 2 months into the Macy’s training program to become an assistant buyer and this was my last day of the program. I was so excited to finally be an assistant buyer! But before I left for work, I noticed a lump on my neck and started to freak out. I ran in to my mom’s room panicked at the thought of having cancer, but she calmed me down and assured me that it was just a swollen lymph node, as I had just gotten over being sick.

The day went on and I almost forgot about it, but I still wanted to make an appointment with the family doctor to get it checked out. He also assured me it was nothing, but sent me to get an X-Ray just in case because Hodgkins and Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma run in my family. The X-Ray came back a bit fuzzy so I was then sent to get a CATScan. The scan showed a cluster of lymph nodes on my mediastinum (chest area), but they couldn’t know for sure until they did a biopsy of the lump on my neck. This was the first time that a doctor told me they *think* I had lymphoma. Obviously, I did not take to that too lightly. How dare someone say this to me, when they’re not even an oncologist?!

Ultimately, he was right.

I was sent to an oncologist the next day and we arranged for me to get the lump on my neck removed so they could test it and find out exactly what I have. So on April 12th, 2017 after countless doctor appointments and a biopsy, I was officially diagnosed with Stage 2A Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. Stage 2A means that I don’t have any symptoms (by the way throughout the long process of my prognosis, I felt completely healthy and would have went on living my life normally if it weren’t for my lump) and that the cancer is above the diaphragm in 2 places (my neck and mediastinum).

Currently, I am undergoing chemotherapy treatments once every two weeks for the next few months, but I shall save that for a separate blog post 🙂 Oh I should mention, that I know I’m going to be completely fine once this is all over, as Hodgkin’s has about a 90-95% cure rate. It’s just going to be a real bitch of a summer and I’m going to do my absolute best to keep my spirits up and positivity high throughout it all-and I’m sure this blog will help.

Whoever stuck through and read this entire post thank you so much, y’all are the real MVPs in this story. (JK obvi I’m the MVP.)

I’m gonna definitely miss making obnoxious jokes like that once this is all over.

Xoxo,

Breezy

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